You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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