Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
