bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
