dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
