My first STD was from a foam party
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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