Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
