I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
