I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
