Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
