It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
