Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
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how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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