drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
