Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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