i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
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