I am in a vortex of obligation.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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