Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Success! We fucked roommates!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
