By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
