North Korea, Best Korea!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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