It's Friday. Sex?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
