i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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