just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
