where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
