Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
