She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
