we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
