we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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