If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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