Pregnant stripper...not hot.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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