I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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