i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
