You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
