it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I need a beard to bite.
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