Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
