I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
