I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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