Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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