He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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