Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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