I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
