I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
People with herpes should wear stickers.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
