Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
