operation have a gay friend backfired
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
