I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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