I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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