I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
