I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
