I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
