I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
