Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Who died my cat blue again?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize