Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
