D3 body, D1 cock
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
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