she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
