Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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