I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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