You can't motorboat a personality
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
