.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
