they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
