Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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