if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
